In the End
by theAvatarAlchemist
Summary: Duo and Heero are reunited after a harsh breakup. The thing is Heero knows the type of life Duo now leads and even so he decided to see Duo if just for one last goodbye. Complete! HUZZAH!
1. In the End I

In the End I:  
The Decision  
Avatar Alchemist

* * *

Duo looked over at Hilde as she leaned over the shoulders of their three year old daughter, Helen.

"No, the small one goes in here. See..."

Duo smiled, he loved them both very much but he couldn't help but think of what could've happened had he not gotten married to her. He wouldn't have a daughter that was for sure. He'd probably be alone and confused. Suffering through a big ass mid-life crisis. However, fortunately for him he had broken away from the old Duo. Yes, perhaps it did mean hiding his true feeling of passion and true love but he couldn't face it. He couldn't go through with it all his life. There was no way he could ever have done on days like this he hated himself for having betrayed those whom he had truly loved. He hated himself for betraying himself and his feelings. He felt unworthy of Hilde and her trust and their daughter. On days like this he wanted to die or go back and put things 'right' but he couldn't and so he stood from his chair at the breakfast table, kissed his daughter and wife goodbye, and left for work.

Hilde caught Duo's stare and blushed. He did that a lot. In the five years they had been married, he still stared at her as if for the first time. She loved him so much but she still waited for the day when he would pack up and say he was tired of it all. She waited for the day when he would decide he didn't want to hide himself. She knew it would come. Eventually, he would come to realize that this isn't right and the their life would fall apart sooner or later. Sometimes, though, on days when he looked at her like that, she pretended that day would never come. On days when he made love to her, she liked to think he really felt passion for her. On days when he held his daughter close and walked hand in hand with her, she liked to think he would stay forever...But then she would stop to think and live one day at a time.

Duo stood and kissed both his wife and daughter goodbye and left through the back door. He got in his car and drove off down the busy streets and to his job.

Quatre, who could hold no ill will towards anyone and who understood the decisions Duo had made, had given him a job at one of the many Winner Corp.'s buildings. Duo was in charge of the shipping department. He overlooked the exports and made sure imports were complete and accounted for. Once in a while, Quatre would drop by to check on things. Sometimes Trowa would accompany him, sometimes Wufei would also come, Heero was the only one that never came. Duo had lost all contact with Heero but he supposed he should have expected it. Heero had not at all been happy with the decision Duo had made. Trowa and Wufei were taken by surprise but they still spoke to Duo, though it wasn't the same but that was also to be expected. They were uneasy with Duo's decision. It didn't seem normal to them but to Duo they couldn't be farther from the truth, things were perfectly normal.

Duo got out of his car and walked into the Winner building. He walked to his office where upon arrival his secretary handed him paperwork, messages, and asked if he wanted anything, like a cup of coffee or a massage, he looked tired.

Duo smiled, thanked her, accepted her offer for coffee, but declined the latter offer. He entered his nicely furnished office and sat behind his desk in his expensive leather chair.

His secretary walked in with a cup of steaming coffee as Duo began to work on the paper work. He needed to make sure that things were in order so he could prepare the exports, making sure all was good to go, and in doing so making space to assure the imports. He took his coffee and dismissed his secretary.

Two hours from then he looked up from the last form and remembered he had been given messages. He looked through them. He needed to call a Mr. Something-or-Other about this-and-that. He also needed to make sure that things were in top shape for a visit Quatre would make in two weeks. He put the messages down and turned back to his work but decided to instead get up and visit with the boys in the warehouse. He wanted to talk to the warehouse manager to see how things were actually running down there. He wanted to make sure that all the workers knew Quatre would be visiting so that it didn't catch them off guard.

He got up and left his office. He made his way to the warehouse. He entered and immediately the warehouse manager came to him. The man spoke rapidly and excitedly. The next board meeting was going to be good. Things were going fantastic everything arrived and left on schedule give or take an hour or two.

Duo smiled and congratulated the man for his hard work and told him to make sure that all the workers new about Quatre and that they keep up the good work so that he could personally tell Quatre the news.

The man smiled and excused himself while he went to his intercom. His voice resounded throughout the whole room. Good Job. Keep it up. Visit from the big boss in two weeks, he should be impressed.

Duo chatted and went over several other things with them man before he noticed the time and decided he should go finish the paper work so that he could make it home in time to take the girls out for dinner.

He walked back to his office and finished working on the last form. Though, it took him the longest to complete much of the information on it was wrong, outdated, and had to be double checked with the information on the computer's database. He looked at the clock on the wall. Five. He got up and walked out to his car.

That was a regular day now. Wake up, go to work for five through eight hours a day, come home, sleep, and so on and so forth. Things were pretty routine. They were in order and despite what other could think, they were perfectly normal. Though, it wasn't like his old self, he did admit, but he was thirty now. Things were right for the first time in his life and nothing could change things.

Duo entered his home and found Hilde and Helen waiting in the kitchen. The sweet smell of steak filled his nostrils and he smiled. He kissed both on the cheek and sat at the table.

Dinner went on as usual. Hilde talked about her day and asked about Duo's. He would tell her what he'd done in a general way. Then he announced that Quatre would visit and perhaps so would Trowa.

Hilde mumbled words of excitement then fell silent as Helen chided that her uncle's were coming. Duo smiled at the child and invited her to the park after dinner. She happily accepted but halfway through dinner she fell victim of sleep. Duo took her in his arms and smiled as she curled her hands around him. She mumbled little incoherent things along the way to her bedroom. Duo laid her down and wrapped the covers tightly around her. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her sleep. She was a wonderful gift and she gave Duo happiness and a million joyous experiences that melted his heart when he remembered each one. He would do anything for her just as he had given things up to be where he was now.

Hilde walked in to the room and went to stand next to the bed. She also looked down at her daughter. She bent down and gave her the tiniest of kisses on her cheek then kissed Duo and went off to take a bath.

Duo called after her that he would go out for a while.

She looked back at him with a weird expression on her face but said nothing.

Duo traced his finger down the side of Helen's face then stood and walked out of the room silently. He exited the house through the garage and made his way to the forest area along the park. It had a nice path that he liked to walk from time to time when he needed to think. Tonight was one of those days when he needed to think but he didn't know what about. He only knew he felt a nagging feeling in his chest. The same feeling he got every time he knew that Quatre would come. However, what Duo didn't realize yet was that that nagging feeling was anticipation. His subconscious secretly hoped that it was Heero who came down with Quatre and every time Heero didn't come his subconscious would feel depressed and Duo would bury himself in more work and at nights he'd let the pain go by making love to Hilde.

Duo walked along the path for several hours before he stopped and looked up to the sky. He had taught himself to ignore the old feelings and block out all the memories but the starry sky made him go back.

Heero finished packing his clothing. He still didn't know how Quatre had managed to convince him to come along but when he thought about it, he had been more than willing to go. It had been much too long of a time without seeing Duo. If only that, he wanted to see him and then step back out of his life for good this time. Strange how Heero had always thought he could forget or how he had thought things would be okay and that maybe he could also make a decision like Duo's. However, things hadn't come out as he thought. He couldn't escape the memories and the more he thought about all the time of happiness the more enraged he became in the present. It hadn't been fair. All of what had happened had been very terribly inconsiderate and selfish and while he was always thought of as the strongest one, that night and every night since had uncovered the truth about that. He was breakable. He was not perfect. He did love.

Heero looked up as the door bell to his apartment rang. He grabbed his bag and coat and made for the door. He opened it and greeted Quatre.

Trowa was waiting for them downstairs so that he could drive them to the airport.

Once at the airport Heero waited patiently while Trowa and Quatre said their 'goodbyes'. He watched as a singled tear left Quatre's eye and was amazed of the emotion on both of their faces despite the fact that they would only be gone for a week. The scene ended and Heero nodded in Trowa's direction as his own mode of saying 'goodbye'.

Both Heero and Quatre walked onto Quatre's private plane and Trowa stepped away to a safe distance so he could watch the plane until it became no more than a speck in the sky. It seemed it was a tradition when one traveled without the other, the one left behind would watch the plane disappear in a more or less dramatic way.

Quatre looked over at Heero and smiled. Finally, things would be found out.

Heero said nothing, he only closed his eyes and hoped not to dream about all the things that could and, most likely, would go wrong. He wasn't expecting to go back a happy person. He was expecting to go back as miserable or even more so than his current state.

Duo woke up with a start and looked around the room. All was well, he was in his home, sleeping with his wife beside him, and a room away slept his Helen. He was pretty sure that had been a nightmare but what exactly is consisted of, he didn't know. He got up and got ready for work. Quatre would arrive today and things needed to be in top shape. He needed to make sure nothing had happened over night that could cause discomfort to his friend and boss.

Hilde opened her eyes and sat up sleepily. She was happy that morning. Duo had made love to her last night and she loved to think that he loved her. She looked around the room for him but the sound of the shower explained to her that he was getting ready for Quatre's arrival. She laid back down and closed her eyes. She always feared Quatre's visits. Quatre had the power to change Duo's decision even if it could in fact be considered too late. Hilde knew Quatre had that sort of influence over Duo even if Quatre himself didn't know it. However, if Quatre wanted to take Duo away it would have already happened and she also had to think of Quatre as the type of person he was. Quatre was never known to be cruel of deceitful. He was loving and honest. He would never take a husband away from his wife of and no less would he take a father away from his daughter.

Duo came out of the bathroom fully dressed but didn't notice Hilde was awake for she laid on the bed with her eyes closed. He dried his hair quickly and tied it back in his usual braid, though now it was considerably shorter than before. He then walked over to his wife and kissed her forehead gently. He left the room and went to his daughter's room. He kissed her as well and then proceeded to his study to retrieve his briefcase. He finally left his house and went on his way to work. Upon arriving to his building he noticed the rental car that Quatre always preferred and he stepped in rather rushed. He hadn't expected Quatre to come so early in the morning. He made it in to his office where upon his arrival his secretary announced that Mr. Winner was waiting inside for him and had been doing so for at least thirty minutes.

Duo entered the office his eyes immediately falling on Quatre. He went to him and hugged him. They exchanged the usual words of greeting. Duo offered Quatre his seat across the desk but Quatre declines as always and sat in one of the chairs across from Duo's. Duo circled his desk and began to sit when he looked up and saw the person in the farthest corner of his office. He felt a weird sensation in his chest and walked to this person. He didn't know what to say or what to do exactly but for some reason his body did. His arms flew onto the others' body and for some reason all that was: his wife, daughter, the time and place. Everything that didn't have to do with that hug and that moment suddenly didn't matter. What did matter was the strange feeling of contempt and the fact that he was being hugged back and that a set of lips were softly touching a secret place on his neck. Duo pulled away and shook his head, "Heero."

"Duo," Heero whispered.

Duo said nothing as he turned and walked to his chair. He turned away from both his guests and looked out the window. This couldn't be, and while this had been his wildest and most loveliest of secret dreams for the longest time. It was also wrong now and it went against everything he had worked for. He turned back to Heero and offered him a seat.

Heero said nothing. He seemed hurt perhaps or disappointed in the way the reunion had gone but he also seemed to accept it. He sat down and avoided Duo's eyes. He wanted more than anything to leave now. He had been wrong to come. What had he been thinking? Duo had everything going for him and what right had he to just show up after so long and think that it wouldn't disrupt Duo. He hated himself immensely in this moment but he could do nothing. After all this time one would think that he would be able to move on, and perhaps go in the direction that Duo had, but he couldn't. He was stubborn and he couldn't let go. He didn't want to and how he hoped he would've never been forced to do so.

Duo stood and offered Quatre and Heero a trip to visit the rest of the managing staff.

Both, Quatre and Heero stood and followed Duo down the halls of the building. They made several stops and talked to many people. However, in each one conversation Heero was being left out being as he knew very little of the operations that kept The Winner Corp. going. He still worked along side Wufei and his wife Sally in The Preventers.

By the end of the work day Quatre was very well pleased with the progress of this particular branch of the Corporation and spoke with Duo about promoting some of the lower employees.

Duo thought that was a great idea and seemed very enthusiastic. He was very close with them all and he was hoping to have a way to repay them for all their hard work and effort.

Quatre announced that they had better get back to their hotel so that they could get something to eat before he took Heero around the city.

Duo's phone went off and he answered it. Helen wanted to see her uncle's, would Quatre mind having dinner with them. Also, there were extra rooms in the house would they like to stay there during their visit?

After some debate because Heero insisted he didn't want to bother Duo and his wife the settled on going over for dinner but then going to their hotel for the night.

Duo didn't argue with their decision and drove ahead of them while they followed. They entered the house together.

Hilde came out of the kitchen and almost dropped the wooden spoon in her hand. She stuttered nervously but recovered as Helen walked out of the kitchen and ran to Quatre.

Quatre took Helen in his arms and kissed her cheek. He seemed genuinely happy to see her and she was giddy to see him

Duo walked to Hilde and kissed her cheek all the while feeling strange to have done it in front of Heero. He had often kissed her in front of Quatre but things were different with Heero there.

Duo watched as Quatre introduced Heero to Helen. She smiled at him and took his hand to lead him into the living room.

Hilde looked at Duo as he watched Heero then she turned to Quatre. She grew mad at the smile on his lips. Somehow she knew he had planned this. She wasn't just being paranoid, she was damned sure that Quatre had come specifically to take Duo away from her. She turned from Quatre knowing she hadn't greeted him but not caring. She went into the kitchen and continued to work on dinner.

Duo offered his guest a drink, which they both accepted. He went into the kitchen, knowing well that Hilde was mad but he still didn't understand the real problem at hand. Duo was still very unaware that by the end of the week all his feelings would come back and that life as he knew it and as he had grown to accept it would vanish. Everything he held dear to him now he would think about leaving. New loyalties would be tested against old. It would be a battle that could very well finish killing Duo's soul.

Heero looked around the living as Quatre conversed with Helen. He looked around at the pictures here and there. There was a picture of Duo's wedding day and next to it was a picture of him pointing out Hilde's pregnant belly, as if pointing at it would make it more obvious than it already was. There were other pictures, beautiful pictures, and all that Heero could see was that Duo truly was happy with the life he now lead. He turned back to Helen. She grabbed at her little skirt and performed a little dance and sing combo for Quatre who laughed happily.

Heero shook his head. No, he couldn't stay here. He had to leave. He had been wrong to think that things could be normal between him and Duo. He saw the face that Hilde had made. She was mad and worried of loosing Duo.

Quatre noticed Heero's look of confusion and went to him. Perhaps he had been wrong to take him along. Heero hadn't wanted to come.

Hilde walked out of the kitchen and announced dinner was ready. She took Helen by the hand but before she could pull her away Helen grabbed a hold of Heero's hand and pulled him along. Hilde and Heero stared at each other for an awkward moment but they said nothing to each other and neither made a move to let go of Helen.

Dinner went on quite normally. Duo had talked with Quatre about work. Once in a while Hilde would comment. Helen talked with Heero being as he was the only grown up who either, wasn't talking or wasn't mad. Heero chatted to her idly, wishing dinner would end soon and that Hilde would stop glaring at him the way she was.

Half way through dinner Heero gave up pretending things were going well and he excused himself. He got up and walked outside into a cold snowy day.

Quatre blushed a bit and thanked Hilde for dinner but it was time to go back to the hotel. He told Duo to come by the hotel and pick up some paperwork for the raises the employees were to receive. Hilde of course didn't seem too happy about that but she said nothing.

That night, Duo went out for another walk but this time he asked Hilde and Helen to join. Duo looked as Hilde and Helen walked in front of him. He thought again that he loved them. That he cared for them and that he was glad they had come into his life but then that feeling in his chest returned. Again he wondered what it was and for a moment he realized that the days to come would be dangerous and would cause him trouble and pain. But again what Duo didn't know was the main reason and cause for the feeling in his chest had to do with Heero's re-entrance into his life.

Helen looked back at her daddy and ran to hit him gently on the leg, tagging him then turning away and running. Thus engaging in a game of tag that she was sure to win.

Duo ran after Helen suddenly feeling disgusted for feeling how he felt, because in some way he was doubting his life and his present. He put all of it in a tiny box where he had been keeping it all and for the moment chased after his Helen.

Hilde watched as Duo chased after Helen. She laughed lightly when Duo gently fell to the grass pulling Helen down with him. She loved to watch him play with her because in those moments Duo belonged to her, the mother of his daughter. Duo may not love her but he would remain with her because of what they had together. They had created life and Duo could not ignore that. Whether he never truly loved her, he couldn't ignore that she had been the bearer of his greatest joy.

On their way back Helen fell asleep in Duo's arms and as he walked along the path beside Hilde he did what came naturally to him. He took Hilde's hand and held it tight. He looked over at her and confusion stirred in him. He had no idea for the cause of the one tear rolling down Hilde's cheek.

Heero sat on his bed thinking it had been best that he tell Quatre he was leaving. He finished packing his clothing and announced to Quatre that he would be leaving the next morning after he saw Duo for one last time.

He had been a complete idiot to think...God, what had he thought? That Duo would come back to him? That things would be as they were when Duo loved him? To think he'd fooled himself into actually believing that. How wrong he had been. He knew Duo had a wife and a daughter. He'd even seen pictures of the little Helen but he still came and hoping for what? To tear Duo away from his family. His wife and daughter. From the new life he now lead with apparent happiness?

No, it was over and tomorrow after one last goodbye Heero would be on his way to his own new life. Perhaps he would finally go to Relena. Perhaps he would bury his sorry in her bed. Yes, it was time that he give in to her love and begin anew. It was time he made his own decision.

Is it over? Heck no! Please go on the next chapter and review! *sankyuu*! 


	2. In the End II

In the End II:  
Nightmare Dream  
Avatar Alchemist

* * *

Duo ran into the apartment and jumped around joyously as he looked for Heero. "Hee-chan! Where are you, Hee-chan?"

"In here," came a hazy voice from the bedroom.

Duo smiled and walked into the room, "Still in bed? You lazy ass."

Heero ignored Duo and stood. He walked over to his lover and kissed him deeply, "I was waiting for you."

"Liar, you just woke up," Duo said and moved away with a teasing smile.

Heero shrugged and put on a pair of jeans, "The graveyard shift is a pain in the ass."

"Poor baby," Duo giggled and ran to hug him.

Duo came home and sat on the couch. Heero was probably still in bed he had gotten the late shift again. Usually Duo would wake him up and drag him here or there or they would spend a good time at home but today Duo didn't feel like seeing Heero at all.

He had been doing some thinking. He had been doing a lot of thinking and it was strange, a couple of days ago he couldn't have cared less what the future held for him. He could've been ok with everything as long as Heero was going to be there with him all the way but...Now, it seemed that Duo did want things from the future and he couldn't find a way to achieve these things with Heero.

Duo felt two arms encircle him and he smiled weakly. Could he leave his love for the sake of his future?

Heero kissed the one spot on Duo's neck that drove him crazy and when Duo didn't react he stepped away from him and went around the couch to sit next to him.

He looked all right. No, something was bothering him. Something big.

Duo looked over at Heero. He was worried for him and that made Duo's heart flutter. Heero cared for him more than anyone could imagine and they loved each other, they really did. Back when people hated guy/guy relationships things were hard but they surpassed all and now here they were living a happy normal life.

Duo closed his eyes. He'd never even considered himself gay until he met Heero. He had always been a ladies man and here came Heero to bring him down but...Heero had been the same way. They didn't question why it happened. It just did. They fell in love out of the blue and ever since then they were together and happy. It seemed, to Duo, that their love grew stronger everyday...but it was beginning to falter. Duo's heart wanted more.

"What's wrong with you? Are you ok?" Heero whispered gently and hugged Duo.

"I...I was just thinking abo...about the future," Duo answered timidly.

"The future? Ah, c'mon, we have time for that kind of stuff. We're 23 and in our prime the future comes later," Heero said and kissed Duo.

Duo pulled away and got up. He walked to the door, "I need to go out for a walk."

"You just got home," Heero said but Duo went out as if he hadn't heard.

Heero walked into their apartment after a day at the office and smiled. Today had been Duo's day off which meant that any moment soon Duo would jump out at him and announce that he had a plan on how to spend the rest of the day. Movies and dinner usually but sometimes dancing. Heero loved to go dancing with Duo even if he didn't dance he loved to watch Duo out on the dance floor. It was right out fucking sexy and a huge turn on.

Heero looked around the apartment for the first time noticing how quiet it was. He walked around still expecting Duo to jump out but when he didn't he became worried. He went into their bedroom and found clothes all over the floor. He looked around the room his eyes scanning for Duo.

"Duo!" he ran into the restroom and found Duo, tears in his eyes, standing over locks and locks of his hair.

Heero stared with bewilderment, "Duo...Why...What are you doing?"

Duo smiled bitterly, "New look."

Heero bent down and grabbed a lock of hair. He held it lightly in his hand and stood straight to look Duo in the eye. He held out the piece of hair in Duo's face. Heero took Duo in his arms as Duo began to cry.

"No," Duo exclaimed and pulled himself away from Heero. He ran out into the room and took a suit case from near the door.

Heero stared at the suitcase. He hadn't noticed it before with his worry but now he was worried all over again, "Duo, I don't understand. Tell me what's going on? Duo, what is all this?"

"Heero, I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to hide from the scorning and from the finger pointing. I love you and it hurts so much but I'm losing my will power and all my strength and I can't...I can't! I can't!" Duo shook his head and ran out of the room.

"Duo! Duo, no, wait!" Heero ran after Duo and grabbed his arm, "Tell me what's going on. What are you talking about? Tell me what it is you can't do anymore."

"This. You, me...Us. It's not normal. Not right. People talk about us and can't have children. Everyday we have to fight for our love and our rights. I'm tired. I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be hurt by their words. I want to be normal...Even if it means going on without you."

Heero let go of Duo and fell back on a couch. He felt as if a physical blow had just hit him. He felt as if Duo had taken his heart and thrown it out the window.

"No! What are you talking about? I won't accept this! We've been together for far too long for you to just wake up one day and throw it all away! This is bullshit. People don't matter only you and I matter. Fuck what the rest of the world says! You and I belong together despite what the world says. Fuck everything!" Heero stood, took the suitcase from Duo, and opened it. He emptied its contents and threw it across the room.

Duo went up to Heero and cupped his face, "I can't Heero. I want to be normal. I want to have children."

Heero said nothing. Nothing he could do or say could stop Duo now. He watched as Duo looked around and ignored the scattered clothing and walked to the door.

He looked back at Heero one last time then turned and walked out the door.

Heero grabbed one of Duo's shirts and laid on the floor. The sun went down sometime while he lay there motionless holding Duo's shirt to himself and without him noticing the room went completely dark.

Duo was gone and so was the light.

Ah this chapter was short, yes? But I felt it would be easier to explain Duo's actual 'decision' in a chapter of it's own. Please review. Sankyuu 


	3. In the End III

In the End III:  
Dying Souls  
Avatar Alchemist

* * *

Heero sat up with a start. It was the same dream he had had ever since Duo had left. Every time he would wake up after Duo gave him that last cold look. Every time he woke up with tears in his eyes.

He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and stood. He went into the suite's bathroom and removed his boxers. He stepped into the shower and realized he had no idea what time it was. It had to be earlier than six thirty being as that is the time he had set is wake up call for.

He heard the phone ring. He debated letting it ring but if it was his wake up call and he didn't answer they would send someone up to the room. He stepped out of the shower and wrapped the hotel towel around his waist. He went to pick up the phone. Yes, he had asked for a wake up call at this time, thank you.

He went back to his shower after telling the person on the other line to please have a cab waiting for him in thirty minutes. He stood under the hot water for a while. He had told himself that if anything, he wanted to see Duo one last time. That part was fulfilled and now after, seeing how hopeless and selfish it had been to come, he reluctantly accepted fate.

He wanted to say good bye to Duo but thinking over it again, he didn't think it was such a good idea. He was sure he'd break down and all but beg Duo to run away with him. He laughed bitterly at the thought of it and finished up his shower. He stepped out and dried himself up with the towel. He got dressed more casually than he had been dressed the day before: a pair of jeans and a simple white t-shirt.

He grabbed his suitcase and headed for the door. He was sure Quatre would be at the office by that time so he didn't bother to knock on his suite door. He went into the elevator at the end of the hall and pressed the button for lobby and waited a bit impatiently as the mundane elevator music played. The doors finally opened and he rushed out. He went out onto the hotel passenger pick-up lot and waited.

"Mr. Yuy, your cab is waiting, sir," called the door man and extended his hand to a cab.

Heero nodded in 'Thanks' and got into the cab. The driver waited for instructions, which Heero promptly supplied, "The Winner Corp. offices."

The driver nodded and set the vehicle into motion.

Heero put his hand on his chin and closed his eyes. He would finally say good bye to Duo. However, saying good bye did not mean he would get closure or piece of mind. He would still leave with the darkness in his heart. With the deception and the unwillingness to keep going.

He had always been thought of as the strong one but the truth was he wasn't. He was afraid to keep going without Duo. He was afraid to accept that it was over. He had been going on hoping Duo would come back for five pathetic years. Five years wasted on waiting for Duo to return. Though, those five years wasted waiting was nothing compared to the years gone to waste in loving Duo. No, what he saying? Loving Duo would never be a waste it would be a most treasured memory. Even so...He'd wait all his life if only Duo promised to return.

The cab came to a halt in the Winner building parking lot. Heero handed the driver a twenty and asked him to wait. He left his suitcase in the car and walked into the building. He made his way to Duo's office but stopped in front of the secretaries desk.

"Mr. Yuy, no? Mr. Winner has asked me to tell you to step into the office as soon as you arrived," the secretary said and smiled up at Heero.

Heero said nothing. He stared at her as she continued with her work. He found those instructions very peculiar but he didn't think about it much. He hoped to be on his way home that same afternoon and he couldn't afford to waste any time questioning the secretary about the validity of her words.

He went into the office and found Duo leaning over some papers on his desk, while talking on the phone.

"No, I don't think that will work...Well, because it's an impossible supply. I can't export that much all at once...Well, if you feel you need to go to another company then I am sorry. I really have tried to find a loop-hole to make this work but I can't find any...All right, I will be waiting for you," he hung up the phone and sat, closing his eyes as he rubbed his temples..

Heero stared at him until he wasn't looking at Duo anymore. He stared into memories of times when he would kiss Duo's stress away. When they would sleep together just hold each other in darkness. Heero would come home and Duo would rub his back and...and...

"Heero?"

Heero blinked and snapped back to the present. He looked at Duo and made an effort to keep up his front, "I...came to say good bye."

Duo felt something in him burst and he clutched the arm of his chair, hoping subconsciously that his disappointment didn't break through, "You are leaving so soon?"

Heero nodded, "I had no real reason for coming here, Duo."

Duo said nothing. He stared at Heero's eyes as they wandered aimlessly through the office.

"I had no reason to come and disturb your life," Heero paused. What was he doing, saying this? Trying to guilt Duo? He held up his hand when Duo opened his mouth to speak, "I'm sorry. I came to say good bye and I have done so and I should be leaving now."

"Heero...I was hoping that you would be staying a while longer," Duo said and circled around his desk to go to Heero. He stood a foot away from him knowing it was a bad idea. His hands itched to touch his face.

"No, Duo...I should go. I'll miss my flight and...I really only came to say good bye so..." Heero took a step backwards still avoiding Duo's eyes. He couldn't look into them. He could get lost in them for all eternity and then it would be no good to even try to go on without him.

Duo watched as Heero began to turn. His mind yelled a million things but, among all the things it yelled, one thing soared above the rest; 'Stop him.'

Duo grabbed Heero's arm and pulled him into a kiss before he could stop himself. Like the day before, nothing more existed in that moment. It was only Duo, Heero, and their feelings for each other, forbidden as they may be.

Heero felt beyond happiness at that moment and he prayed to every being that time would hold still if only a moment longer but it seemed every being mocked him in return for his prayer.

Duo's phone buzzed and his secretaries voice came through, "Mr. Maxwell, you wife is on line two. She says it's very urgent she speaks with you."

Heero pulled back, not feeling ashamed for the kiss. He felt more like an idiot. He kept fooling himself. It's like he was fighting the darkness but he gave in to in on purpose from time to time. It was a useless struggle that he was loosing.

Duo stepped away from Heero. It was his turn to avoid Heero's eyes. He was married with a child but it had felt good. It had felt more natural than holding Hilde's hand when they went out on walks. He didn't love her because if he did then why didn't he feel what he felt with Heero every time he kissed her. Even looking at Heero made him happy but with Hilde...He didn't love her...Not the way a husband was supposed to love his wife.

The door opened and Duo's secretary poked her head in, "I'm sorry, I wasn't sure you'd heard me. You're wife..."

Duo held up his hand, "Yes, yes, thank you."

He went over to the phone, picked up the receiver, and pressed the button to connect to line two, "Hello?"

Heero watched as Duo turned his back to him, obviously full of guilt.

"Wait. What are you talking about?...Why? What happened?...Why weren't you watching her?...Stop crying, I can't understand you...What hospital did they take her to?...All right I'm on my way," Duo hung up and grabbed his jacket from his chair.

He turned and came face to face with Heero, "Helen, my daughter, she's at the hospital. I'm sorry Heero."

He rushed past him and out to his car.

"Duo! Where are you going?"

Duo turned to see Quatre, "Helen is in the hospital. Hilde says she fell off the swing set. I have to go see her."

Quatre nodded, "I'll follow you."

Duo said nothing as he got in his car and drove off.

Quatre held his hat in place as the wind produced by Duo's speeding off hit him. He looked around and saw Heero at the entrance to the building looking rather confused and a little hurt, "Heero!"

Heero saw Quatre and went over to him, "Where did my cab go?"

"I sent him to take your luggage back to the hotel so you could go to the hospital to see Helen," Quatre said and smiled. He hooked his arm to Heero's and lead him to the rental car.

"What are you talking about? You knew about Helen getting hurt?" Heero asked, giving Quatre a strange look as they got in the car.

"No, but it does work out nicely!" Quatre said with a smile.

"You almost sound happy that she got hurt," Heero said and glared at Quatre.

Out of everyone Quatre was the most affected by Duo's decision. He was secretly set on making Duo go back to Heero. He refused to let Duo go. What had always given Quatre hope and strength was the fact that someone like Duo had been on "their side." The thought of someone like Duo that could surpass anything was Quatre's source of inspiration to keep going. When Duo left and denied himself, the ideal Quatre held so dear had shattered. It was something Quatre wasn't ready to let go of. He accepted Duo's decision because he still wanted Duo's strong personality. He wanted to stay in touch with Duo and call on him when he was needed. A super-hero kept in storage. However, that idea also failed. When Duo denied himself, he lost his very essence. His soul, his true identity was being locked up and this was something that Quatre had no use for. He wanted to see Duo happy. He wanted to have the old Duo back. Hilde did not allow the old Duo to shine through and so in order for Quatre to reach his selfish goal he needed to take her out of the picture. Quatre couldn't give up on Duo because doing so would drain him and leave him as empty as Duo was now.

"Quatre?" Heero looked as Quatre's eyes glazed over and became empty.

The blond snapped back and smiled sadly, "No, Heero, I don't blame the girl for anything except keeping them together."

Hilde sobbed as she paced up and down the hall waiting for Duo to get there.

The doctor had said Helen was ok. She had only broken her arm and she was now sleeping under the influence of a sedative for the pain. She would be ok. She would be ok. She would...

_Dammit!_, Hilde cursed herself. She had been outside sitting right in front of the swing set as Helen played but she got to thinking about Heero being there. Duo and Heero would be seeing each other in the office. The danger of her loosing Duo had never been so present. It had never been so near. She had gotten so caught up in her thoughts that by the time she looked up. Helen was on her way off the swing.

She had lost her grip. She was going to fast. She tried to break her fall by putting out her hand but it broke under the pressure. Hilde had tried to catch her but she had been too far away. She had heard Helen's scream to late.

Duo came around the corner and rushed up to Hilde, "What happened?"

"I was watching her, Duo. I swear. I only got distracted for a second. I'm so sorry," Hilde sobbed desperately and clung onto Duo.

Duo pulled her away, as gently as he could, and walked past her without saying a word.

Hilde felt her heart skip a beat as it had done when Helen had fallen off the swing. Duo had walked right by her, ignoring her pain. Ignoring the fact that she needed to hear something from his lips, even if what she heard was a scorn. Ignoring the fact that she needed to be consoled and held. Ignoring the fact that she needed her husband.

Duo stepped into Helen's room and walked up to the bed in which she lay sleeping. He took her small hand and brought it to his lips. He brushed a lock of her hair away from her face and looked at her little arm in the cast. He supposed he really wasn't mad at Hilde. Worried about Helen had been more like the case, and in his worry he had not allowed himself time for Hilde.

He heard the door open and turned to see her enter, followed by Quatre and Heero. He looked into Hilde's red, puffed eyes. Her eyelashes were stuck to each other and her face looked damp from the many tears that continued to roll down her face.

Heero and Quatre walked up to the bed but Hilde stood some feet away.

She felt so guilty and she had this strange paranoid feeling; She had given Duo a reason to go to Heero. She had all but delivered him to Heero.

Duo looked back at Hilde.

She caught his eyes and began to sob uncontrollably. She rushed to Duo and threw her arms around him, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Heero watched in silence as Duo took Hilde in his arms and whispered sweet words of love and comfort into her ear. In turn she held him tighter and buried her face deeper into his neck.

Heero felt an urge to break down and cry as Hilde was doing. He left the room fearing he would do so, but once in the hall he did so anyways. He put his forehead up to the wall and cried silently.

He understood why he could never have Duo back. He understood everything now. It made so much sense. Duo would never return to him because Duo didn't need him.

Duo had never needed him. On the other hand Heero was lost without Duo. In all these years, Heero had been the one to feed from Duo's light and love for life but then Duo left. Heero died on the inside and became no more than an empty shell, but Duo...He had gone out and married. Duo had been the stronger one. He had kept going while Heero was still frozen in the past. Afraid to move forward. Afraid of the future. Afraid to go on without Duo's light to guide him down life's dark road.

Quatre excused himself and left the room in search of Heero. He looked down the hall towards the waiting area and saw Heero sitting with his face in his hands.

Quatre went and kneeled before him, "Heero?"

"I understand now, Quatre. I have to accept it now and force myself to move on," Heero whispered hoarsely but refused to take his face out of his hands.

"What are you talking about? What is it you understand?" Quatre asked with a confused frown.

"I think even I thought Duo needed me but I couldn't fulfill the role. I thought Duo needed me but all this time it's been me who's needed him. It's been me who's been lost," Heero paused and lifted his face to look at Quatre, "But I'm afraid to finally give him up...I'm afraid of being alone."

Quatre felt an overwhelming need to protect Heero. He wrapped his arms around him and gently soothed him, "That's why we can't let Duo leave us, Heero. If you really love him then you need to fight your love.

"Come with me."

They stood and Quatre lead Heero around the hospital until they found and empty patient's room.

"Heero," Quatre spoke once hey were in the room, "I never shunned Duo for what he did. Though, I found it disgusting to think of his cowardliness. I wanted Duo to be happy and if being with Hilde would make him happy, so be it, but year after year of visiting him only disgusted me more.

"Duo doesn't love Hilde, he never did, and never will. He's so willing to put up that front of faux love and marriage so it would be normal to society. I started to hate Hilde and the fact that she knows Duo doesn't lover her yet she...She submits herself to the falseness of it. I had wanted to convince Duo to leave her. I wanted to tell him, to make him see the truth but I knew he couldn't be helped. He loves Helen too much. He-"

"Quatre I don't understand, what are you driving at?" Heero interrupted.

"I don't want Hilde at Duo's side any longer! I can't accept to see him suffer and die. Don't you see? It's the only way to save him," Quatre said breathlessly, growing desperate at the mere thought of it.

"Quatre, it's useless. Duo would never leave Helen," Heero paused and gave Quatre a curious look, "Are you that willing to break up a marriage?"

He had a feeling that Quatre wanted him to be excited. As if they were plotting the fall of some great evil. Though, he didn't feel that way. It was wrong to even think about. Family was something so sacred but then again wasn't love also sacred?

"Don't you understand? Haven't you been listening to me? It's false! He doesn't love her. He never will!" Quatre exclaimed, tears blurring his vision.

"It makes no difference. They have a daughter! They are a family. I can't tear him from Helen. I can't tear Hilde from him. It's not fair for them. It's selfish. It's-"

Heero put his hand to his cheek. It throbbed a little from the blow. He looked Quatre in the eye but was too shocked to actually speak.

"You don't understand. I need Duo too! If anyone was being selfish it was him. The day he left us he betrayed us. Yet...Yet...I want him back! I want Duo back," he covered his eyes with his arm, as a child might, and continued sobbing, "...But I can't bring him back. Only you can. I want him back. I don't want him to die.

"I would move heaven and earth so he could keep his daughter, if only he would come back," he wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand and left Heero still standing there, dumbfounded and holding his cheek.

The truth was they were all being selfish for their own reasons and in the same way they were all dying. They were all in pain.

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Finally...::sigh::...for those of you that keep up with this story I will try to finish up Chapter 4 soon. Please be patient!


	4. In the End IV

In the End IV:  
Simple Happiness  
Avatar Alchemist

Sorry for those of you that keep up. It took me a while to finish this one. Finals are creeping up on me and I got tangled in my own story line. Anyways, finals are still creeping up on me but I've smoothed out the story line...At least for this chapter ;

* * *

Duo filled his cup with coffee and headed back to Helen's room.

She'd be able to go home that afternoon. The doctor had only wanted to keep her overnight to make sure Helen was doing all right and that she hadn't developed any allergic reaction to any of the medications and sedatives given to her.

Duo entered the room and smiled at Helen, as she ate the toast that came with her breakfast.

She had woken up and seen her arm in the cast. She had cried for a little while, more from fear than pain, but she had calmed down. She seemed all right with it, since she noticed there was in fact no pain.

Duo went to stand next to the window in the small room. He looked over, as Hilde began to stir in the chair she had claimed as her bed the night before.

Helen finished with her piece of toast and looked over at Duo, "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Why didn't Heero come before?" she asked and reached over to grab a coloring book and crayons a nurse had brought for her earlier.

Duo looked away avoiding Hilde's stare, "He's very busy, I guess."

"Why is he so quiet all the time? He looks mean," Helen exclaimed, without looking up from the picture she was coloring.

"Heero's always been like that but he's not mean," Duo said. He knew it was wrong to say things that could be hurtful to Hilde. However, it just didn't feel wrong to talk about Heero when what he was saying was the truth.

Hilde stared at Duo. She didn't say anything. She was afraid to do so. She didn't want this conversation to continue but her guilt for the events from yesterday didn't allow her to speak.

"Daddy, were you and Heero great friends? The other day at dinner he said you used to be great friends. I like him," Helen said still ignoring everything but her picture.

"We were," Duo said simply and drank from his coffee.

"Daddy, why doesn't he smile? Is he sad? Quatre smiles such pretty smiles but Heero doesn't," Hilde looked up for the first time and stared into Duo's eyes. It was as if she knew. It was painful to have her stare at him like that yet he couldn't seem to look away.

"I suppose he is sad...I don't know," Duo answered. He managed to look away when Hilde returned to her picture but then he glanced over to Hilde. He didn't like this conversation anymore. He didn't want to be allowed to remember. He didn't want to wish it was like before.

"But why?" she paused and looked at her drawing thoughtfully, "Why is Heero so sad, daddy?"

Duo looked down at the floor, "I...I..."

Hilde stood and went to Duo's side, taking his hand in hers, "Daddy's very tired, honey, stop asking him so many questions."

Helen shrugged, "Ok."

Duo pulled away from Hilde and went to Helen's side. He touched her hair. She had Hilde's black hair and Duo's violet eyes. The difference was that Hilde's hair was longer and her eyes still had the gloss of happiness.

"Daddy! I know what can make Heero happy! When ever I am sad you hold me tight until I fall asleep and then you tuck me into bed. If Heero is so sad then someone should hold him tight and tuck him into bed. Does Heero have anyone to hold him tight, daddy?"

Duo looked down at Helen's enthusiastic face then over at Hilde; tears were building up in her eyes. He looked back at Helen and shook his head sadly, "No..."

_Not anymore_, he thought to himself, _Not since I left him for this...For my 'normal' life._

"Daddy...," Helen started as she put her crayons up, "...You give the bestest hugs. Mommy gives them too, but you hug the bestest. You should give Heero a hug."

No one said anything. The room was silent the exception of Helen's humming as she held up her flipped through her book.

Duo looked at her absently. It was all so hopeless. It was a withering lie. He almost wanted to laugh but no doubt his laughing would convert to crying and endless depression. He'd grown too used to life with Hilde that, even if Helen wasn't in between he'd think twice before leaving her.

Helen looked up from her coloring book and continued as if she had never stopped, "I think that would make Heero happy."

Heero looked at Quatre from across the table they hadn't spoken much since what happened at the hospital. Quatre had shown a side of him Heero had never seen or even thought existed. Quatre had bared his fangs declaring war on Hilde and everything Duo had become. Though, he'd done nothing but be true to what he felt. He'd spoken out. He'd declared he wanted Duo back despite everything, which is how Heero felt but didn't dare speak it. It made Heero seem so pathetically useless. He knew it did but he didn't care, if in the end he'd have Duo at his side once more. However, this would never happen lest he stopped being a coward for Hilde's sake and began to care more for what he wanted.

"Listen, Heero...I'm sorry for my behavior last night. I don't know what came over me. I also acknowledge hitting you didn't make things better. We'll go home tomorrow night. I can' leave yet due to things still pending at the office and I don't want you to go ahead without me. I understand you'd rather not see Duo anymore so just go around the city and..." he trailed off and looked off into nothingness.

"Don't worry about last night. We're both affected by this, I guess, in our own way," Heero said and took a pack of cigarettes from his jacket. He took one out and ventured to find his lighter.

"Always carry a lighter when traveling with Heero. Just in case," Quatre said with a little smile and held out a lighter. His smile faded and he went on, "I miss him, Heero."

Heero lit his cigarette and took a drag. This would be the first time he'd talked about it. The first time he'd really spoken how he felt about Duo being gone. He wouldn't put on the mask anymore, it was useless. It didn't matter anymore.

"I do too. After five years...I can't forget him. I can't let it go. Am I being pathetic?" Heero asked rhetorically and shrugged absently. He took another drag and tapped the ashes off.

Quatre smiled bitterly, "We're all being pathetic. I told you last night. I am utterly disgusted by the lie Duo lives. I'm disgusted to the point of wishing Helen hadn't been born. It would have been so much easier."

He'd said the last bit more to himself but not soft enough to keep Heero from hearing him.

"I have to admit to you I want him back also but I can't let myself do it. No matter which way I look at it nothing justifies my breaking him away from them. It seems wrong to us but to him...It's perfectly normal. I suppose it is but not when he has to become someone completely new. At the end of all this I hope to be able to walk away with some understanding of it. I have to see Duo again. I have to get the closure I so desperately need," Heero took a finally the final drag and crushed the cigarette butt in the ashtray that sat in the center of the table.

"Then I think you should know...I'm selling this branch of the corporation. I don't want to see Duo again. The deal will be finalized sometime next month. It's the reason for this visit. Of course I still haven't told Duo but I suppose I should do that soon," he smiled sadly, "I also must move on. I'm sorry I dragged you into this. It was my last selfish attempt. Things have to get better for us and lingering on...Well, at least things can't get any worse."

Heero nodded, "What about Duo's position at the corporation. All business seems to be running as if nothing were happening."

"Yes, part of the deal. None of the clients know about the transaction and as for Duo...He'll be keeping his position unless he wants to give it up, of course, in which case the company buying the branch will bring in one of their own to manage it. I asked them to let Duo stay. They've been watching his performance. It seems they are pleased with the way he works," Quatre said and took a sip of his tea.

"So this will be it? This will be good bye to Duo," Heero said silently.

"Indeed. We'll be saying good bye. If only we could truly let go...Maybe even forget."

Duo walked into the office. He'd left things on hold since the day of Helen's accident and honestly he did need to get back. He sat at his desk with the daily pile of paper work and began to work. He wondered if Quatre would be coming today to take care of the paper work for the upcoming pay raises for the employees.

As if on cue Quatre stepped dressed for business, briefcase held tightly in his hand. He smiled at Duo and without saying a word went to sit in a chair in front of his desk.

"Good morning, Quatre," Duo said and returned the smile. The strange feeling he always ignored returned; why didn't Heero come? Had he left?

"I suppose," Quatre said but this time he didn't smile. He put his briefcase up on Duo's desk and opened it, "I'll be leaving earlier than planned due to Heero but no matter. We should have enough time to tie things up today. Though, we might have to spend all day in the office. Your _wife_won't mind will she?"

Duo flinched at the emphasis Quatre had put on the word wife but he pretended he hadn't heard it. In all these years Quatre had never really been rude about things. He'd been supportive about everything. There was no need for him to be rude about it now.

"No, I don't think she will," Duo answered after a while and shifted uneasily in his chair.

Quatre nodded and took out some papers. He handed them to Duo without saying a word and sat pack, putting his hands together on his lap, "Read."

Duo took the papers and assumed they were the papers they'd been talking about but when he actually read them he became confused, "You're selling the branch?"

"Indeed, it's been long coming but I saw no reason to tell you being as it wont jeopardize your position. You'll still be head man here. Nothing will change for you," Quatre said with a dry tone.

"Quatre, I don't understand. Why are you doing this? And without telling me? What-"

"Duo, I'm very sorry but last time I checked I didn't have to answer to you. I made sure you could keep your position. I think you should be grateful if anything. Everything will keep on as it always has with the exception of new clients, of course. The workers will still be receiving their raise..."

Quatre kept talking but Duo had stopped listening a while ago. Quatre was cutting ties with him? After five years of maintaining a seemingly close relationship Quatre was leaving him. Stranded in the life he had chosen. Without his friends. Alone with Hilde until death do them part.

"Are you listening? It is extremely imperative that you prepare things for when your new employers visit. I won't be dealing with them after the signing of the papers and as expected, I won't be needing to come visit anymore," Quatre said and flipped through the papers in his briefcase, "I seem to have forgotten some of the paper work. If you could please come by the hotel and pick it up by five o'clock tomorrow afternoon. If I'm not in my room I'll make sure to leave the papers with Heero, as trustworthy as the hotel staff is these papers are worth far more than they are. You won't mind will you?"

Duo shook his head. He looked down at his hands, "Why are you doing this Quatre?"

Quatre stood and went around to Duo. He took Duo in his arms and sighed, "I'm freeing you from your past Duo. Isn't this what you always wanted?"

Duo didn't answer. By the time he looked up Quatre and his briefcase were gone. Duo got up, not bothering to finish his work or put anything away. He grabbed his coat and headed out to his car. He drove home and walked into his house. He heard Hilde off in the distance, though he was sure she'd been a mere couple of feet away. He ignored her not because he had wanted to but he couldn't think about anything other than what had happened with Quatre. His mind couldn't stop repeating Quatre's last words, _"I'm freeing you from your past Duo. Isn't this what you wanted?"_

He got up to their bedroom and laid on the bed. He closed his eyes and fought back the sobs waiting to escape his throat. If there was anything that he didn't want to go through was being without any of them. He didn't want Quatre to leave him. He didn't want to be left alone.

Hilde entered the bedroom and walked up to the bed where Duo lay curled into a tight ball. She didn't remember ever seeing him this upset. She had liked to think it was because he never got that upset but she knew Duo had always kept his true feelings hidden.

She sat next to him and gently laid her hand on his back. She was surprised when Duo lay his head on her lap and cried as he encircled her waist with his arms.

"Duo, what's wrong?" she asked and stroked his hair.

"Quatre's selling the branch. I'll never see him or the others again," he whispered, "I'll be alone."

Hilde was taken by surprise once more to hear his confession. Quatre was exiting their lives. She almost felt happy and relieved but then Duo's sobbing came through and his tears began to soak through her skirt. It was wrong to feel the way she felt.

She looked down at Duo lovingly.

True love created beautiful things but it also gave power and strength enough to undo things. Love was nothing if it wasn't happiness as well.

"Duo, don't cry. People leave because they must. In order for you to be happy they must, but no matter what, Helen and I will always be there," Hilde said quietly and pulled Duo up to face her.

The stared into each other's eyes for a silent moment of revelation and then it was gone.

I'm sorry," Duo said. He kissed Hilde's cheek and stood, "Duo you want to go for a walk?"

"No, go on...We'll be here."

Duo got out of the shower and dried himself off. He got dressed from the waist down which left him wearing a pair of blue jeans. He left the restroom and looked at Hilde.

Hilde blushed. She would never be able to get used to the way he looked at her. She watched as he smiled at her and turned to the closet.

Duo got out a button up black shirt and put it on, not bothering to button it up yet. He went in search of a hair brush and a towel to dry his hair.

Hilde handed him a towel and his favorite hair brush.

"Thanks," he said and kissed her cheek. He dried his hair, brushed it, and tied it up in it's usual braid. He buttoned up his shirt and made his way down to the kitchen.

"Helen!" Duo exclaimed a little surprised to see her up so early, "What are you doing up, sweetie?"

"I couldn't sleep anymore, daddy, and I'm thirsty," Helen said and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

"All right," he took her in his arms and she lay her head on his shoulder, "You're not even wearing your socks. The floor is cold, you're going to get sick."

"I couldn't find them and I'm really thirsty," Helen said.

"Yeah? Ok," Duo went to the fridge and opened it, "What do you want? Juice, kool-aid, or water?"

"I want some juice," Helen said and lifted her head off Duo's shoulder.

Duo sat her down on the counter and went to serve her up some juice. He handed her the cup and watched her gulp it down.

She put the cup down and yawned, "Daddy isn't today Saturday?"

"Yes, do you want to go watch cartoons?" Duo asked and held out his arms.

"Daddy, are you going to work? When did Quatre leave? He didn't come to say good bye," she climbed into his arms again but didn't put her head down so she could look at him.

"Well, Quatre is leaving today but he can't come to say good bye because he will be very very busy. I'm not going to work today so I'm going to go say good bye to him and to Heero," Duo said though that wasn't entirely true. The only reason he was going to see Quatre was to get those papers he needed.

"Oh, daddy, will you make Heero smile today? Oh, I wish you would so next time he comes he will smile for me!" Helen exclaimed as Duo put her down on the couch.

"I don't know Helen. We'll have to wait and see how things happen. Even so, I don't think they will come back again," Duo said.

"It doesn't matter, daddy. When you're happy I know you are happy even if you aren't here because when you leave you leave with a smile; like this," she smiled wide and giggled, "Heero can smile like that and you can tell me and then I will know even if he doesn't come back."

Duo smiled at her happiness. She seemed so contempt in knowing that Heero would be happy even if she didn't see him. She didn't even know him, not really. She had spent a total of two hours with him yet she felt like she knew him.

"I have to go now and pick up some papers tell mommy ok?" Duo said but didn't wait for Helen to answer.

Duo drove to the hotel and went up to the hotel number Quatre had indicated. He knocked, waited, then eventually knocked again. He hesitated before walking away and moving towards the door next to it. He knocked and prepared himself for anything. He was worrying to much, though, wasn't he? He was only there to pick up some papers.

The door opened and Heero stepped into view. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a button up shirt that wasn't completely buttoned.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I only-"

"You don't have to be so formal. Honestly, Duo, we should be past all formalities. I'm glad you came. We need to talk," Heero said and opened the door wide so that Duo could walk in.

"Listen, Heero it's best if we don't-"

Heero looked back at him, "Duo, you know as much as I do that this is the best thing for both of us. I can't get past it and I know you can't either or else you wouldn't have kissed me the other day. We need to talk and let it go."

Duo nodded in acceptance, it was true. After seeing Heero he just couldn't stop thinking about how it was. He had never realized how much he had missed Heero. He had never realized how bad it would be without any of them until the day before. He had never realized how badly he wanted to hold on to it.

"Sit where ever you're most comfortable," Heero said and reached into his shirt pocket for his pack of cigarettes. He took one out and lit it.

"I didn't know you smoked," Duo said before he could stop himself.

"Many things change in five years, Duo, but some things may always stay the same. I know it's not right for me to be here but I had to come. I had to tell you I still love you and I guess...I can't take you from your family if you feel happy with them. I can't come and tell you you're a coward. I can't say I hate you, the truth is...I love you and maybe I always will but I just had to come and tell you. It was something I had to do but I just wasn't willing to do it," he paused and took a drag, "I don't think I'll ever be able to see you again but I don't think I want to loose contact with you...No, that's too selfish. All of this its..." he trailed off, took another drag, and turned away from Duo.

Duo fought back the tears in his eyes. He wanted to say it. It was wrong but...why didn't it feel wrong? He looked down at the carpet and decided to avoid Heero's eyes. He didn't want to cry. He didn't want to be weak. He didn't want to betray Hilde.

"So...listen, here are those papers. Quatre left them for you this morning before he went to pick up our tickets with his travel agent."

Duo took the papers without looking up and placed them on the chair next to his and stood to look into Heero's eyes.

"Duo don't say anything, please. I'm sorry for having come. I shouldn't have but I can't forget you. Though, by coming, I'm not helping myself, am I?" he said with a chuckle and put his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table next to Duo's chair.

"You were never too bright when it came to things like this," Duo said and brought his lips up to Heero's. _"One last time,"_ he thought, _"for old time's sake."_

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I feel like this wasn't the best I could've done but considering it was much worse and any improvement might make it worse I'll keep it as is. Hope it wasn't too bad .;; Please review..


	5. In the End V

In the End V:  
Happily Ever After  
Avatar Alchemist  
So...This first scene is the most important I think. Well, the first and maybe the last. For reasons you'll see when you read. Anyways, I hope you guys like it.

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Duo drove up his driveway too late in the day to have a good excuse. Had he come home some time after five he could have said he'd seen Quatre and Heero to the airport. However, it was now five hours after five and he hadn't even gone to the airport. He given into what he felt and after felt incredible guilt for it. He'd left the hotel room in tears because he realized everything in his life had gone wrong. It had turned into a lie five years ago. He'd built a new life upon a lie and now the foundation to his life was tearing up. It was rotten and putrid and he hated himself because he had let it go this far.

Everyone was right to call him a coward. That was all he was. A damned coward afraid to show his true colors and afraid to go on without showing them. He wanted so much to be dead because maybe it would be best. For himself, and less selfishly for Heero. For his wife and daughter, who waited at home for them while he had been out hating the life he lived with them. He had been out betraying them.

He got out of the car and walked into the house.

Helen and Hilde looked up from the movie they had been watching.

Helen jumped up and ran to her father, "Daddy!"

Duo dropped the papers on a table near the door and took her in his arms, "Hey, sweetie."

"Daddy, why are you so late? Did you make Heero happy, daddy? Is Heero happy?" Helen asked happily.

Tension spread through the room. Hilde stood and stared at Duo waiting for an answer.

Duo put Helen down and watched her run back to the couch where she'd been. He let his eyes wander for a long while but he eventually, and reluctantly, brought them up to look at Hilde's face. It was full of fear and suppressed pain. He could almost see her begin to shake.

"Did you make Heero happy, Duo?" Hilde asked as her eyes were invaded by tears. She didn't need to hear it, she knew. Still she asked, stupidly hoping that he would say "No". Even if he lied about it, how she wished he would say no.

"Answer me, Duo. Did you make Heero happy?" she asked after Duo's silence.

Duo glanced at Helen's confused face.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

"Duo...?" Hilde's voice broke and she was unable to finish her question. She pressed her lips together and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn't feel betrayed...She couldn't lose what she never had. She just felt so foolish.

Duo broke down as guilt stricken as ever, "I'm so sorry. Forgive me, Hilde. It was a mistake. I...I...I'm just so sorry."

Hilde slapped a hand over her mouth and let her tears run free. She turned away from both Duo and Helen and allowed herself to cry silently.

"Hilde forgive me. I don't want to loose you or Helen. Please! It was a stupid mistake. I don't know why I let it happen but please. Don't leave me. I'm begging you, Hilde."

Helen had started crying soon after Hilde and was now at her mother's side, "Mommy, why are you crying? Mommy, what's wrong? Mommy...?"

Hilde kneeled to face Helen, "It's ok, honey. Go up to your room and watch TV. I have to talk to your daddy but as soon as I'm done I'll go up and watch the movie with you."

Helen nodded, and after initial hesitation, she made her way up the stair and out of sight.

Duo waited for Hilde to speak but she didn't. So he stood, crying, too ashamed to speak again.

Hilde finally turned to Duo but still didn't speak. She had feared this moment so much but she knew it would come. In her mind she had gone over what she would say but no one ever told her it would be this hard. She couldn't speak. She was ready to forgive Duo because she loved him so much but what was the point? He didn't love her. It would always remain so. There was nothing she could do. She had always known this day would come. She had never imagined it would be this hard.

Heero won. In the end Duo had chosen Heero one more time. She couldn't compete with their passionate love. Not even being the mother of Duo's daughter had been enough for Duo. She had lost. The fight was over. She was defeated and there was no more she could do. The question now was: Was she willing to give Duo up or would she keep him at her side?

"Hilde..." Duo whispered crying and holding his hand out to her.

Hilde let out a great sigh and ran to Duo. She threw her arms around him and kissed him with all the passion she felt, "Oh Duo."

Duo began to laugh in between his sobs. He kissed Hilde back and held her as close to him as he could.

He had been forgiven and he thanked God. He felt ashamed for what he'd done but he couldn't let Hilde leave him. He couldn't loose all he knew to be his life. Things wouldn't be the same now and maybe they never would be but he'd put effort into making her happy. He'd move on completely now. He'd give his soul and life up to Hilde and Helen. They were his life now. They were what kept him going. His raison d'etre. Everything before them was nothing and needed to be forgotten.

Duo closed his eyes. Hilde had forgiven him but he could never forgive himself. He had betrayed Hilde and Helen. To a point he'd even betrayed Heero today. Always and forever the betrayal would never be forgotten. How could he forget how he betrayed himself each day?

Hilde looked over at Duo's sleeping form. She walked out of the room and went over to Hilde's room. She took Hilde from the bed and walked out of the house. As she turned on the engine of her car the words she'd said to Duo the day before repeated bitterly in her mind: "Duo, don't cry. People leave because they must. In order for you to be happy they must, but no matter what, Helen and I will always be there."

"You and me. Always and forever," Hilde said silently and drove out of the driveway. She'd be far away when Duo woke up. She'd be far enough to let him realize that what she had done was for him and that no matter what, she and Helen would always be there.

Helen stirred in the back seat but didn't wake up. In the end she would suffer that most, wouldn't she? The child who knew nothing of her father's past, nor cared. To her Duo was her father and nothing more. To her Duo was her wonderful daddy that could do no wrong. A daddy that gave the "bestest" hugs. She wouldn't understand why Hilde would dare take her away from a daddy so great. She would maybe hate Hilde and cry for her father every night. Maybe when she grew up, and Hilde told her the truth, she would hate Duo for it or maybe she would hate Hilde for hiding it. Either way both parents lost their innocent daughter and their innocent daughter lost her innocence.

In a situation like this no one really won. Duo, who got back his freedom, lost the life he'd given everything for. Hilde, who got her pride in letting Duo go, lost her love and life. Then there was Helen, who gained nothing and lost it all.

Duo woke up and looked over to Hilde but she wasn't in bed, which was strange. For all the years they had been married Hilde rarely got up before he did. He stood and put on his pair of jeans, assuming that Hilde had to be with Helen. He made his way out of the room.

The morning was quiet and dark. The clouds outside the hall window were omens of rain and a very dark day.

He went into Helen's room but she wasn't there and neither was Hilde. He began to worry. The house was to silent for them to be in it. It was too early for Hilde to have gone anywhere with Hilde. Had something happened he would have heard it or noticed things.

He made his way down the stairs. He walked to every room but none of them offered him relief. He finally made his way to the kitchen. Nothing.

He was about to burst with tears when a small envelope on the counter caught his eye. He picked it up and tore it open greedily. There was a small sheet of paper in it. The words he read echoed through his mind as his world crumbled yet again: "Duo, don't cry. People leave because they much. In order for you to be happy they must, but no mater what, Helen and I will always be there."

Duo crumbled the paper and threw it aside as if disappearing it from sight would mean it wasn't true. This was too much. In a matter of days his life had become no more than torn pieces, that he now was too tired and too lost in himself to care about. Suddenly now he felt as he hadn't felt in a long time. He wanted to lay down and never get up. He wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

He drug himself up the stairs, into Helen's room, and curled up on her bed.

Then as if he'd been struck by lighting he realized something that hurt him more than anything in the moment. Perhaps it was wrong that this realization hurt him more than Hilde leaving him but it did. He wasn't going to lie to himself and say that Hilde leaving him hurt him more than this horrible realization. He only wished he had never done it he knew how it felt now.

He realized at that moment when he hugged Helen's blanket to his chest that this must have been the terrible void that Heero had felt five years ago. This sense of uselessness and great loss must have been the only thing that had been in Heero's mind for day. This must have been the feeling that kept Heero loving Duo and had brought him back. This was, as mundane as it may sound, "A taste of Duo's own medicine." He had left Heero heart broken and half dead. He had taken away the life they had had for so long and left him to start over. He had done something truly evil.

That morning Hilde had done the same thing to him. She had left Duo with nothing. She had left him without a life and a reason to go on. She had taken everything from him.

Duo smiled bitterly, "Thank you."

Though, perhaps the most wonderful thing had happened today. Hilde had set Duo free. She had given him back the wings that he had turned in to her without hope of flying back to Heero. She had set him free and promised to always be there, no matter what. He hadn't lost Hilde or Helen. Not really. They would always be there his eternal friend and his beautiful daughter. He just wished he hadn't caused so much pain. He only hoped that Heero would let him back into his life. He only hoped it could be like before.

Heero sat thinking about things. The last day with Duo had only fed the fire. It had only made him hurt more when he stepped out of the shower and found Duo gone. What had he expected?

He felt like hitting himself. How many time he had asked himself that same question yet he knew what he had always expected. He had expected to wake up from the longest nightmare in his life. He had expected to have Duo hold him and tell him it was all right. The nightmare was over and life would go on as it always had. Not everything in the world was evil. Not everything was rotten and bad. Dreams still came true and happy endings did exist.

It had always been a joke between them. The happy ending. When they had moved in together those had been the words that came out of Duo's lips after they made love, "And they lived happily ever after." Heero had looked at Duo with confusion and at the moment Duo smiled it became true and a promise. It had become a seal that could never be broken. Though, all too soon it had become no more than an unattainable dream. It was too sad. He had had it within finger-tip reach and he had lost it.

After five years of thinking about it he never really comprehended how it happened. How exactly had it happened? What had eaten away at Duo that no one noticed until he was gone? People's hate had happened to him. People who were ignorant broke him and his shattered pieces were scattered away from Heero.

The door bell rang and Heero got up to answer it. He didn't feel like company and honest he didn't have the slightest idea of who it could be. Unless it was Quatre on one of his "I came to see how you are?" visits, which in Heero's mind were always, "I came to see if you finally committed suicide," visits.

For a moment he hesitated and considered going back to his room but a knock came. He closed his eyes and suddenly he had just woken up after a night on the graveyard shift and Duo was at the door announcing with his obnoxious knocking rhythm that he had forgotten his keys. Duo was home and everything was fine now.

Heero rushed to the door and opened it at fast as he could, not bothering to look through the peep-hole.

Duo got off the plane and took in a deep breath. He thanked Hilde for her love and the opportunity she had given him. He only hoped that he wasn't making the same mistake again. He didn't want the pain anymore. He hoped that when he got there that things would be forgotten. He didn't want an argument to ensue. He didn't want words of surprise or anger. He just wanted to say "I love you" and get that kiss his lips burned for.

He got a cab and handed him a slip of paper with an address scribbled neatly on it. He only hoped it was the right one.

With his nerves and anxiousness the cab had not gotten there nearly fast enough. Duo paid the driver and stepped in to the building. Things were like he remembered. Except the faces. He didn't see anyone that might remember him from five years ago.

He felt butterflies in his stomach. He stepped into the elevator and went up to the fourth floor. He walked up to the door and braced himself for what could come. He could be turned away, heart in his hand, or he could be taken into a warm embrace. Either way he gained nothing standing in the hallway. Staring at the door.

He rang the doorbell. Nothing. He knocked.

A small woman came to the door. I'm sorry you seem to have the wrong apartment. The nice young man can tell you where you can find the person you're looking for.

Duo had wanted to cry but he didn't. He went down to the clerk in the lobby.

I'm sorry I cannot display that information. It is confidential and unknown by myself.

Duo really did break down that time. What was he going to do? He could call someone but who in the world would be willing to tell him? _No use crying,_ he told himself and went to a payphone. _I've come this far. I can't go back now._

Heero stared into those endless violet eyes and felt himself break, "Duo..."

Duo smiled as a tear trickled down the side of his face. He had known what he would say but at this moment it lay forgotten. Only one thing came to mind.

"And they lived happily ever after."

**[ Epilogue ]**

Duo took Helen's hand as she took Heero's. They had just left Quatre and Trowa's home, where they had had a nice Thanksgiving dinner.

"Mommy says that for Christmas we're going to visit Noin and Zechs in the colonies. I think it will be fun but..."

Duo smiled and let Helen's voice drift from his mind. He was glad for the way things had worked out.

Hilde had sent the divorce papers only months after the separation and she'd even called to tell him about custody arrangements. Helen spent mixed holidays with them and Hilde had to invite Duo to every birthday party and school even Helen was in. Of course it was impossible to make it to all of them so Hilde video taped everything for him. She didn't seem too broken up anymore. She was picking herself up with the eternal help of Relena, whom she'd been living with since she left. Helen had even mentioned a male teacher who fancied Hilde and had asked her to dinner. Duo was glad for her. He was glad that he didn't seem to be hurting her anymore.

Things seemed to be as normal as they would ever be and it was ok. Duo couldn't complain. He had his daughter in his life. Hilde remained ever present, as well, with comfort and support as the mother of their child. Quatre, though he hadn't apologized for anything and claimed he didn't need to, had seemed to forget the whole thing. He and Duo were working on regaining what they had and they were making some progress. Then there was Heero, Duo's forever love. Heero who had taken Duo in his arms and worked with him to get things back to how they were. Heero who didn't question the anything and just lived knowing that now they were going to live happily ever after. Heero who loved Helen and moved earth and sky so that Duo could visit Helen whenever possible.

Duo looked over at Heero. Yes, things were ok. He let Hilde's fade in again but she'd finished her one person conversation and was now smiling up at him. He smiled at her and she turned to smile at Heero who also returned her smile.

Yes, life was surely grand.

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Ok so the ending was not grand. No, it did not end with a bang or anything huge and nice. I did not wrap it up with a satin ribbon but cotton is just as good. I'm sorry if you were disappointed. I really feel this was the best I could've done. Please comment and what not.


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